What It looks Like To Work With Me?
Updated: Nov 12, 2021
Call it coaching, counselling, psychotherapy, therapy, or whatever other name we need to call it so we can make sense of what it is that I do.
Here’s the thing, the name of it really doesn’t matter, just like doctors, tradies and schoolteachers, there can be ones that are fantastic, helpful, caring and there can be ones that are unhelpful, lack enthusiasm, and don’t have your best interest at heart.
What we learn at university, in courses and during trainings are tools. It’s the person behind the tool or modality that really matters, their attitude, the way they connect with you, hear you, understand you and encourage your own path forward not their own agenda of how it should be. Also, the way you show up as a client, are you showing up open to the experience or fearful and closed?
We have evolved as humans from living a simple life to being more creative, purposeful in what we do and thinking more deeply about living a healthy balanced life.
Rather than sit back and let life happen to us we can step into an empowering role and be a leader in our lives. No one or thing will save us, fix us or give us all the answers. So it’s up to us as individuals to increase our awareness and change the way we show up in the world for ourselves and the people around us.
We can influence our wellbeing through consciously choosing healthier choices for ourselves, whether that’s food, drink, exercise, what environment we choose to live in, or the way we treat ourselves and others.
“No longer do we need to accept the narrative of ‘faulty genes’ as our fate…. genes are influenced by their environment, beginning in utero and continuing throughout our lives. The ground-breaking discovery of epigenetic tells the new story about our ability to change.”-Dr Nicole LePera.
Growing up our personalities are shaped by our upbringing and genetics (and epigenetics). As much as we think we’re not like our parents you have more than likely internalised parts of your parents and this is how you can test that. Do you either feel very similar to your parents or the opposite to them. Think about the qualities in your parents that you feel like you don’t identify with or you don’t like, for example, if you have a lazy parent who never worked so you grew up doing the same thing or you became a workaholic, now you have lots of money, but your health is suffering because you have a negative association towards lazy people, so you don’t give yourself permission to rest because, you can’t rest, resting means you’re being lazy and won’t get anything done. The way we internalise our parents is through either conforming or rebelling and both of these are polarising. A secure upbringing is when parents don’t shape you, they help you grow into your own being. When we conform to fit in or rebel to gain a sense of freedom, we disown parts of ourselves. To feel healthier, less anxious and happier in life we need to reconnect with the parts of us that we have pushed away. As adults we have more freedom to become whoever we want to be it’s our environment growing up, conditioning/fear and beliefs systems that get in the way of us truly living a life that brings us joy.
how does working with me on 1:1 help you in your everyday life?
Why would you work with a professional to help you through a challenge, pattern, or goal you would like to achieve?
Many of us wait until a crisis before seeking help. This does not need to happen for you to take charge of your life. if you know something is missing and you keep taking action with without getting what you want, you know that your way is not working. You may think, “well I can just do it myself, it’s simple” and yes, it’s simple and yes you can do it yourself but what if it’s not easy and you have tried to do it on your own, you have all the steps in front of you, and you still can create what you want? That’s when it’s time to get some external help and support.
Reoccurring challenges are symptoms in our life:
Addictive tendencies that don’t cause us harm instantly but over time cause us harm, such as drinking often, eating poorly, screen time, non-active life, gambling, shopping, workaholic
Repeated relationship breakdowns with family and in the workplace
Trying to achieve a goal and not being able to no matter how many courses you have done or coaches you have hired. It feels too overwhelming, hard and out of reach
Feeling unmotivated and depressed
Reoccurring health symptoms
Worry and anxiety
Overactive mind and find it hard to slow down and be with yourself
A professional is not attached to your situation and can help you see your situation from a different perspective. Why is that helpful? Have you ever said to someone, “I have never seen it like that before” and realised that you were missing a huge piece of the puzzle that helps you change the way you approach something, you change your behaviour and the direction you go in? Sticking with the puzzle analogy, you know when you’re trying to find a puzzle piece, and someone comes along with fresh eyes and finds it straight away. This is because we are so focused and have tunnel vision on our situation and we’re trying so hard we lose perspective, we don’t see it from a clearer perspective, from a fresh lens.
Have you ever gained an insight or great idea when you’re on holidays? If you’re completely relaxed on holidays your nervous system is regulated. When you go to yoga and get that calm grounded feeling, your nervous system is regulated, when you get a massage, your nervous system is regulated and when you go for walks in nature this also helps with regulating your nervous system. What does it mean when your nervous system is regulated? You’re thinking more clearly, you’re more creative, you’re more attuned with yourself and the people around you and you’re in a positive frame of mind. How do you know your nervous system is dysregulated? When you feel stressed and a surge of energy (flight and fight mode) and when you have no energy at all, and you’re not motivated to do anything (freeze).
What if you could reduce your stress levels and feel more aligned with the direction you’re going in, in life? what if you identified what gives you purpose and what you need to do to live into it?
When you gain clarity on all parts of your situation and accept that there are reasons for why these patterns, challenges and goals are showing up in your life you can approach your situation from an explorer’s perspective, where you’re eager to know why you do the things you do. At the same time, you’re scared because of the unknown and you don’t know what you will find. Once you have the information and awareness you can choose a different path forward. Changing your behaviour and actions to be more aligned with the new information. Without this awareness we continue to get the same patterns and results cycling in our life.
I help you see all parts of yourself without judging you and honour those parts in a nurturing space. We all have needs and desires it apart of being human. It how we meet these needs that counts. Is it in healthy or unhealthy ways?
I help you see all parts of yourself without judging you and honour all of you in a nurturing space. We all have needs and desires, this is what being human is all about. It's whether we meet these needs in healthy or unhealthy ways that counts.