How Our Thinking Can Limit Our Ability To See Incredible Opportunities On Offer To Us.

Updated: Oct 18, 2020

Are you missing valuable information when making life changing decisions?

What do I mean when I say rigid thinking?

Rigid thinking is when we are unable to see our situation from a different perspective. We do not change our mind even when our life can improve if we become open and curios to try it on for size and see what we will learn. When we’re thinking in this narrow tunnel vision way, we’re perceiving only one option out of countless options and opportunities.

Watch the video above to do the awareness test and to see how it works.

Anytime these thoughts cross your mind ask yourself, is this 100% true or am I in a fixed mindset rather than growth mindset?

I have to do it this way, there is no other way

It's out of my control

I have no choice

I can’t…

I would never....

I hate ....

It really irks me when...

I’ve always done it this way…

I can’t see how that would benefit me…

It’s a fixed mindset and has a negative impact on the decisions we make in life. We all do this because we're human but it's how aware we are that we're thinking this way that counts.

Awareness = Empowerment

Without the awareness we limit ourselves and what we're capable of.

I did this when I quit my job and I had rigid thinking around how I would make an income. I was trying to make money using one-way, one method, one title. I was missing opportunities, and options because my focus was on controlling how it would look. I was also not open to other opportunities as I had said, I just want to do it this way (TUNNEL VISION). This way of thinking did not work out for me and found myself going into debt. It was not until I became aware of my rigid thinking through coaching and counseling that I was able to become more open to other options.

It could be that you want to start your own business and you hate social media, so you give up on the idea or you push through with an online presence hoping people will find you. This limits the number of people who can find you to work with you.

What if your rigid thinking is coming from fear rather than helping you grow?

What could be blocking you from seeing opportunities that may align with your growth and what you genuinely want?

Once you’re clear on:

  • What you want in life

  • What is blocking from getting the outcomes you want

  • What is blocking you from starting the career change journey

You start to open yourself up to HOW it will show up for you.

The HOW can look completely different to what you imagined it would look like and what you asked for. That's where the saying comes in, ''be careful what you wish for''.

Being open-minded, curious and willing to try things that you’ve never tried before and you will get you much closer to where you want to be and you will enjoy the process.

How does our past influence the way we see the world and the decisions we make?

Our past experiences influence the way we see the world because we have specific associations with labels, experiences, people, animals and events. From that we start to project into the future by making assumptions and believing them.

Becoming aware of how judgments and assumptions influence our thoughts and emotions enables us to be more aware of what is influencing our decisions and results in life.

We can focus on what we want and not what we don't want.

We have the power to create what we want.

If we focus on what we don't want or make decisions from this place and we're missing important information. This is when we create undesirable patterns and outcomes in our lives.

Are we missing important information when we focus on what we don't want?

What is the psychology behind this?

Self-fulfilling prophecy

"A self-fulfilling prophecy is a belief or expectation that an individual holds about a future event that manifests because the individual holds it as true (Good Therapy, 2015). For example, if you wake up and immediately think—perhaps for no particular reason at all—that today is going to be a terrible day, your attitude might make your prediction come true. You may unconsciously work to affirm your belief by ignoring the positive, amplifying the negative, and behaving in ways that are unlikely to contribute to an enjoyable day."


Reticulated Activation System (RAS). Have you ever noticed that when you buy a car or talk about a specific type of car you notice these type of cares everywhere? It's because you have brought it into your awareness. This theory also applies to the ideas we come up with, opportunities we see in the world and everyday choices we make. If you're looking at changing careers it's worth knowing that there are ample ideas and opportunities out in the world and you could be missing this information is you're allowing the environment your in and the people around you to limit and influence your ideas and opportunities you take. To explain the psychology behind what happened when you watch the awareness test YouTube clip watch this short YouTube clip on our RAS.

This means we can make a

conscious effort to refocus our

thoughts towards something we

want in life rather than what we

don't want and what we find

difficult in life.

This does not mean we ignore the difficult stuff it means we

process and work through our challenges, past experiences so

we can move forward with a plan towards what we want and

what we can do to improve our





What does it mean to have these worst case scenarios, negative thoughts repeating over and over again?

Something is bothering you for good reason and your body and mind is

trying to bring attention to it. You may have created a habit of thinking about the worst case scenario and focusing on the negatives, possibly learnt behavior from a care giver. Life is hard and challenging for you right now and you're in pain. You're feeling depressed and are finding it hard to focus on the positive.

If I place attention towards these worst case scenarios and negative thoughts, will that keep coming true? No, not necessarily this is different to you fixating on the problem as opposed to becoming curious about it. There are different ways of looking at it.

  • It's important that we don't avoid our negative thoughts and emotions and that we don't judge them or believe them

  • Become curious and see what they're trying to express to you

  • Validate them by accepting that's how you feel and there is a reason for that way

  • You address this from a objective point of view where you can start to understand the reasons as to why you think the way you think .

This brings awareness to your situation and is very different to replaying it over in your head and living in it.

Sometimes we can't put a finger on why something is disturbing us.

This is in our unconscious. You can tap into the underlying disturbance in your life that is causing you to feel and think this way so you can start to changing your focus towards improving the way you are experiencing life. Our negative thinking, judgments and fear are the surface level of what's happening for us. If you identify the underlying disturbance you can make changes in you life with clarity.

Our Beliefs, Behaviours, Thinking can happen on an unconscious level.

So what is the unconscious?

You can think about it as our thoughts, feelings and experiences in life that we are not yet aware of. Something may not feel right and we're not quite sure what it is.

Without being consciously aware of it, we are reacting to life rather than responding consciously.

To respond in a proactive way you can:

  • Become curious and gain insight into what is influencing the undesirable results and outcomes in your life.

  • Try sitting with yourself in a quiet space and see what pops up. We tend to avoid our unconscious by distracting, numbing and suppressing the unconscious.

How does this impact the DECISIONS you make and what you want in your life?

Would you like help with creating your career idea and feeling certain about it?

Click Here and BOOK IN for a 2 our strategy session that will give you the tools, structure and guidance for you to uncover your next career move.

29 views0 comments

Thelma Vlamis

Name *

Email *



© 2017 by Thelma Vlamis 

Privacy Policy|Terms & Conditions