Why are you stuck in a job you hate?

Updated: May 11, 2018

So often we feel like our situation is fixed and we have no choice but to roll with it. We intuitively feel as though something is not quite right and we have more to give however we are paralysed by the fear and worries of the unknown.



Why are you stuck?


  • You have been burnt in the past and believe it could be possible that it will happen again, so you want to avoid pain


  • You have responsibilities such as mortgage and children


  • You don’t have clarity on what it is you want, why and how to get it


  • You feel guilty or you’re worrying about what people would think


  • You’re focusing on what you need and not what you desire


  • You don't feel like you're smart enough or you can't learn new skills


These are all legitimate reasons that keep us stuck in jobs we hate. However, what’s the price we pay to stay in these jobs?


I know that people have talents, skills and creative thinking that are not being utilised in their current career. It’s a matter of exploring those talents, taking the leap and managing the unknowns that come with it.


Where you put your focus is where you will see results. If you focus on the things you don’t have, the things you hate about work you will be making decisions based around these thinking habits and only see the lack of opportunities you have.


If you find yourself bitching about work and you’re doing it every day, it has become a habit. A habit that has resulted in Groundhog Day, stuck doing the same thing over and over. I know, because that was me 2 years ago.


This is what it sounded like


“I hate my job”

“it’s boring”

“I don’t want to grow in it”

“it’s mind numbing”

“time goes so slow, but the weekend goes so quickly”

“I hate Mondays”

“I can’t change because I have bills to pay”


This did not attract new friends and my partner was pretty fed up when I would whinge to him. People didn't really like hearing my negative talk. I get it, I was complaining and not doing anything about it.


I would be at work and it’s an hour before knock off time, I would be so uncomfortable from being so bored that I was certain my brain would explode. I would be thinking, thinking and thinking some more about how much I hate my job.


The result of such focus was this, I was talented at hating and bitching about my job. I did not see opportunities around me until I stepped out in the unknown and created them for myself.


If you focus on taking action and setting goals to increase your income and create a career you’re motivated to wake up for, you will attract that into your life.


If you invest money and time towards it, you will commit to focusing on improving your situation. Where you invest your time and money is where you will see results.


To get unstuck I saved money, quit my job and moved to Sydney to study Psychology. It’s not recommended for everyone however at the time it felt right for me. It broke the pattern of feeling anxious about going to work. I experienced the beauty of Sydney and its coastline and I met some amazing people along the way.


Since then, I have started my own business and I work with a mentor and coach to help me through the process.


Here’s what I have experienced as a result of changing my environment.


  • People either supported me, said nothing at all or told me I was crazy and that’s totally okay and normal. Not everyone will like what you’re doing


  • I attracted more of the people I want to be around in my life that have similar endeavours


  • Once I stepped away from the discomfort of my job, I felt alive again. No joke I felt like a weight had been lifted. I am not saying it was comfortable to do it, but I started to get less anxious because I had direction and something to look forward to. I was challenging myself, learning and growing my skills again.


  • I have had the most amazing experiences and opportunities that are aligned with my values and I am confident with the opportunities I want to say yes to and the ones I say no to


  • I have developed on skills such as my mindset, public speaking, being on camera, interacting with people and sharing my stories and experiences


  • I choose what I want to spend my time on and where I want to develop my skills. I have become fully aware that I am in control of my actions, my mindset (feelings and emotions), where I put my energy and how I react to people around me.


  • I am also aware that there are things that are completely out of my control and I have to let go.


As soon as I changed my focus from lack of to gratitude and being more present, my life has changed completely. It doesn’t have to be overcomplicated, you don’t need hundreds of books to read. All that is required is a conscious change of focus.


Move from focusing on the lack of to what you have and how you can utilise that to make a change.


I play roller derby and the first time I put on skates I did not feel super-duper confident that I would not fall or hurt myself. I was holding onto the outside railing, feeling very uncomfortable with wearing skates. As time went on, I removed my hands from the railing and started trusting myself more. I then became more and more confident the more I skated and the more I fell over and didn’t actually hurt myself. I would fall and get back up. I would learn what I did wrong and why I fell however, I would not let that deter me from improving and becoming a roller derby skater. Four years later I have become a confident roller derby skater. I have lots to learn which is what makes the sport so appealing to me. I know that I gained confidence over time and if I waited for the right moment or to feel confident I would have never put skates on in the first place.


To get unstuck and stay unstuck you need momentum.


To get momentum and to feel confident you are required take action FIRST.


Confidence comes after action.


Start with these questions:


What have you done that's of meaning today?


What will you do differently tomorrow?


Staying stuck or moving forward | Dr. Lani Nelson Zlupko | TEDxWilmington


The only way you will get unstuck is if you take action.


You have a purpose


Embrace your brilliance

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