top of page

Why Living By Your Values Feels Hard

Updated: May 29, 2020

Conscious living is about consciously choosing where you spend your time. Also known as living by design. We do this through self-awareness and meeting your needs.

Every 3 months I journal on my values. I did this today and found that they are still the same as they were 6 months ago. Next step is to check in and see if your life is reflecting your core values and if not, what changes can you make to live in alignment?

What do you do once you know your values?

Here is where living in alignment can get confusing.

Consciously designing your life comes with a lot of unfamiliar decisions to make and becoming very self-aware. The work for this is simple, the decisions and action required to move further towards your values and alignment is much harder.

This is why:

  • The job you once thought you wanted you realise does not meet your needs and is not what you really want which means you need to decide to stay in it and change your thinking around it (I personally don't think this method works or quit)

  • You realise that some relationships you have with friends, family and partners are not good for you or serving you in any positive way. This requires saying no to people that drain your energy.

  • You realise that the way you have been living your life has been conditional.

  • You realise your sacrificing your health for money and then you realise that money doesn’t make you happy.

  • You realise your upbringing has influenced where you are today and why it’s challenging to express yourself or leap into the unknown

  • You realise that you have a choice and with that privilege you can choose to make positive changes in your life or to stay stuck and in pain because you’re not honouring your needs

  • Is introspection easy? No

Because feeling all emotions means being honest, accepting, self-loving and caring for yourself. When you’re feeling sad, anxious, overwhelmed, anger, shame or guilt rather than distracting yourself from it and quickly “fixing” it (which is short term, does not fix anything and a it’s a coping mechanisms), we need to dive into it and feel it, understand it and meet our needs.

I highly recommend this video for feeling your emotions and the importance of feeling your emotions

This is especially true when we’re triggered. You know when you’re triggered when you have physiological response to a situation. You may start sweating, trembling, become red in the face, become cold, reactive and do and say things you would not usually say when you’re calm.

This is where alternative therapy comes in. I used both alternative therapy and personal development and it's the best thing I have ever experienced in my life and for my triggers. I understand myself at such as deeper level that it brings me so much inner peace, self-trust and connection to my inner world, and desires. I trust what comes up for me in my subconscious and I act from this place.

It’s hard

It’s tedious

It’s painful

It’s super uncomfortable


It’s hard to explain why it’s worth it because it’s different for everyone. For me this is why it’s worth it.

I lacked self-trust after I had made decisions and worked super hard to get to where I was as an environmental scientist. When I realised it was not what I wanted I hesitated to take anymore risks and make a move because the life I had designed for myself up to that moment was not me. it was not what I truly wanted. So my trust in making life decisions had been fractured. I realised I was not sure about myself anymore and I was falling into an anxious state because of it.

Fast forward to today and I feel more alive and grateful than ever. I know my triggers and my emotional intelligent has sky rocketed. Of course I have bad days where I lose it still, I would not be human if I didn't.

I am living into my truth and every day I check in with myself and ask how I am feeling and what I want and don’t want in life. I am mentoring clients through this and they are getting breakthroughs and insights that they had never considered before.

I know when I am choosing something that’s aligned with who I am, I know when things don’t feel right to listen and change direction, say no or make improvements.

I don’t ask people, 'what do you think I should do,'. I coach myself because I know exactly what to do and I know how to identify my blocks. I mean this is what I teach and why I love this work.

I have a better relationship with money and it no longer controls me and the life I want to live.

With my experience I coach myself through asking questions and trusting anything that comes up. Anyone can learn how to do this, and this is exactly what I teach.

This is why living by your values is not as easy as it seems. It's a journey of inquiry and without contrast you don't know what you like and dislike. In order to live in alignment you need to know what feels right for you and what does not. Also what your coping mechnisms are as they feel good only in the short term.

Therefore we need to feel all the emotions to know ourselves to make the changes that are aligned and this comes with great, happy days and shit days.

11 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All


bottom of page